Bristol's Badass Burlesque Show

The Time I Got a Bikini Stuck to the Back of My Head

Saturday night in Bristol was humid, the air was heavy and skin was sticky. I was piled in to a dressing room in a dis-used church in St. Paul’s filled with semi-nude glitter strewn women.

The crowd was great and I performed my first act without a hitch, swirling my gold lamé lined dashiki around me to create a breeze and stop the metallic fabric from sticking to my skin.

Tuesday Laveau “Voodoo Queen” at Jungle Fever (c) David Hammonds

I made my way backstage again, the air was warmer still, filled with the heat radiating off dancers now flushed from bump and grinding across the stage. I wiped a towel across the back of my neck, peeled off my pasties and applied a new pair of tassels. Standing in heels and rolled top stockings, I pulled on fringed bikini bottoms and put on my halter top, tying the tasseled straps in a bow at the nape of my neck. I put on my peacock feather headdress and waited to hear the MC announce me.

On stage for the second time, I hit the Wild Magnolia’s beat as hard as I could.

Tuesday Laveau “Wild Magnolia” at Jungle Fever (c) David Hammonds

Bump and grind, booty bounce, gloves are peeled, skirt is removed and swished around, time to remove that bikini top. I reach behind my back and pull the tie, I feel it slip through the bow and loosen and then…nothing. Ok, the knot’s tightened. I turn, booty, pull, nope. I catch a friend’s eye in the front row and give her a big grin to say, “Girl, this is about to get interesting.” Thinking I could slip the knotted tie over my head, I removed my headdress, which weirdly got my biggest whoop from the audience, stroked it up and down my body like a feather fan and tried the tie again. Nope again. I then realised that in the humidity, my hair had curled as tightly as possible around the tie.

Tuesday Laveau – “Wild Magnolia” (c) David Hammonds

Well, here we go. I reached for the clasp at the back of the bikini, which graciously released with out hindrance. I flung the bikini to one side, the audience hollered out in relief that I was finally free. Going full steam now, and on the brink of laughing my ass off, I danced and twirled my tassels, with the bikini firmly attached to my hair, swinging behind me like some sort of demented tail. I swung the bikini around to the front and held it up proudly to display it, leaning back and popping one hip, I started to swing the bikini around in time with my tassels.

It was awesome and funny and a little scary. I always want to present a flawless act on stage, but I think I’ve learned that you never really know what kind of performer you are until it goes wrong. I survived, through the good humour and generosity of the audience , a little creativity and one trusty little clasp that was willing to release at the right time.

2 comments on “The Time I Got a Bikini Stuck to the Back of My Head

  1. burnbrightlyevents
    August 21, 2012

    You did an amazing job and the audience really loved it!
    And not to worry, you weren’t the only one with a heat-related costume malfunction! Definitely making me consider whether or not to ever hold a summer show again >.<

  2. Pingback: Recovering from our Jungle Fever! | Burn Brightly Events

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This entry was posted on August 20, 2012 by in Coochie Crunch Blog and tagged , , , , , .

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